ICHMOND, VA – Virginia’s tech hub has collided with its deep historical roots, creating the new field of Historical Cyber-Preservation. The state has mandated that all new government and private data centers must employ Colonial Data Archivists (CDAs).
CDAs specialize in encoding modern, complex digital information onto ultra-durable, laser-etched “digital parchment” and storing it in climate-controlled, historically accurate vaults disguised as 18th-century taverns. This requires thousands of specialized roles, including:
- Tricorne Hat-Wearing Server Technician: Maintaining the aesthetic of the colonial-themed data center.
- Quill-Based Data Entry Translator: Converting handwritten historical documents into machine code.
- Whiskey Barrel Cooling Engineer: Overseeing the liquid-cooling systems hidden inside old casks.
The Williamsburg School of Digital History offers the rigorous certification. Graduates are highly paid and are sworn to secrecy to protect the state’s mission of having the most resilient and aesthetically pleasing data storage system in the world.